DEAR MAMA BOOI

I wanted to talk about the weather, the weekend how people are doing good in terms of parenting (considering my neighbour’s kid is trying to do a headstand on the balcony ummh  5^th floor! ) let’s just stop right there:

LETTER TO MAMA BOOI:

Dear mama Booi, you are the one who got pissed Booi was making noise for you in the house and you were having your chama women around, you carelessly shouted to him, “ enda ukacheze uko nje!” Considering you warned him never to go play outside alone! What option does he have? 

Batman and Superman are the movies you let him watch when you detect you have not been a good mum and clearly you are to blame for his manners.

This is what happens when you try to bribe your kid to win his or her affection. The results tend not to fit your expectation.  I know you are wondering why I am talking and am not yet a mother! Well let’s just say potentially I am and I can certainly assure you I will not smile and say “awwwh” or “so cute”, when my boy makes those balcony dives, save me grounding because the African in me will whoop that behind as i reciprocate to him the words of my mother “unalia nini? Ebu niskie ukilia!”

 I like you mama Booi, don’t get it twisted am not gossiping about you, am stating facts.  You are a city woman, very busy I understand but trust me if you think you are stressed because of one son, find a day I take you to my village you meet Wa Kimu a mother of fourteen  boys who used to eat as though they had just arrived from a peacekeeping mission somewhere in the Gulf. The interesting part is, she was also working besides raising all of them.

I know you are going to murmur about economy and maisha ya Nairobi ni ngumu,  we all get it, but trust me if good kids come out of Bombay then you better listen to what am about to say. You may not practice everything but am sure inside my statements you will find a thing or two helpful. First off prioritization is very important in life, put first those things that you cannot purchase with a given dime, because those same things are the ones that will be by your side when you got zero dime. 

 Family: No matter how busy you are, you can never compensate the void created once you stray away from them. Children are interesting characters, they only need a moment of your time, some assurance that you are still mum and not that “aunty”  you live them with. As a matter of fact help them understand you will be there for them whenever time allows and while at it please pretend to like Samurai and Aladeen  even if you do not know them, sit and watch a whole episode.

Do not be a dictator, there is a difference between being firm and dictating. Being firm is looking at you son in the eyes and stating the reason why he cannot play outside giving the pros and cons of it, where as dictating is shouting a big NO! Followed by “utaona cha mtema kuni ukipita iyo mlango.” 

Find a day and stay outside watch him play, let him ride the bicycle without a care in the world, by the time you say enough with the playing ensure he and mother earth share the hue from head to toe. (utajuaje bei ya omo usipokuwa na nguo chafu).

I will never forgive you if you are those super busy women that allow your son to have popcorns and milk for dinner, convincing yourself ati ni kama tu ugali na maziwa!  Well we can debate about that but really mama Booi! You and that woman who made the daughter live believing that Vietnam was a war and not a country should be punished severely. Bananas are five shillings, please feed him some while you can.

Honestly there is a whole lot to write about the city parenting, how i meet  5 year old girls who can twerk like Minaj and whine like Beyonce, boys who got Khalifa swag and lift one side of their upper lip when saying their name (that one am certain watched empire with the house help and now his role model is Hakeem)  but for now let me leave you reflecting.